Chaely Sleeps Forever

Cue ovary explosion in 3… 2… 1…

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:37:08 -0500

Cue ovary explosion in 3… 2… 1…

Would any sane person respond to this?

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:58:30 -0500

I am Mrs. Claire Page sending you a letter from my sickbed in the
hospital. Please contact my lawyer,
Email:(bar-curtisparkinson@gala.net )

Your NPR Name

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:53:27 -0500

theblackcat:

saraliz:

liana:

Eric and I recently discovered a shared fascination with the slew of impossibly named NPR hosts we listen to every day: Renee Montagne, Steve Inskeep, Corey Flintoff, Korva Coleman, Kai Ryssdal, Dina Temple-Raston.

In fact, we’ve often wondered what it would be like to be one of them. A Nina Totenberg or a Renita Jablonski. A David Kestenbaum or a Lakshmi Singh. Even (on our most ambitious days) a Cherry Glaser or a Sylvia Poggioli.

So finally, after years of Fresh Air sign-off ambitions, we came up with a system for creating our own NPR Names. Here’s how it works: You take your middle initial and insert it somewhere into your first name. Then you add on the smallest foreign town you’ve ever visited.

So I’m Liarna Kassel. And Eric is Jeric Bath. I even have a new nickname for my little brother in Dylsan Rosarita.

SAREA SEVILLA

ALAURA TORSLANDA

CEHAELY FRIEDRICHSHAIN

Reggie takes a sick-day.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:57:22 -0500

Reggie takes a sick-day.

evangotlib: fuckyeahalwayssunny: labeledbones: Some awesome...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 14:10:53 -0500

evangotlib:

fuckyeahalwayssunny:

labeledbones:

Some awesome parent dressed their daughter up like Sweet Dee from “The Nightman Cometh” for Halloween. Complete with Chucks! Adorable.

my future daughter beeteedubs.

My boyfriend went as Nightman!!!!

"its too dark to see what we’re eating here..hang on, let me load the flashlight app"

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 22:18:49 -0400

“its too dark to see what we’re eating here..hang on, let me load the flashlight app”

- -nick (via theblackcat)

I also have a flashlight app, but instead of thinking to open it up I just loaded up a cracker and started tasting things blindly. Apparently smart phones don’t actually make you any smarter.

pasalubong: How i spent my saturday afternoon… Carrot cake for...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 22:16:06 -0400

pasalubong:

How i spent my saturday afternoon… Carrot cake for all!

It was so good I would marry it.

hardgraft: NOTCOT have just posted a great feature on our new...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:27:53 -0400

hardgraft:

NOTCOT have just posted a great feature on our new 3FOLD Leather Laptop Bag.

Hard Graft, you always know how to make my heart flutter.

Inspiration to work harder and make mo’ money.

suprachiasmatic: Eight rules for writing fiction: 1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:24:51 -0400

suprachiasmatic:

Eight rules for writing fiction:

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

— Vonnegut, Kurt Vonnegut, Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam’s Sons 1999), 9-10.

I just started reading this book. It’s so good. This is why.

This is what passes for a “dog exercise area” at...

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 11:52:52 -0400

This is what passes for a “dog exercise area” at rest stops on the turnpike in Ohio. It’s a maybe 15’x20’ cage full of rocks. In the back there’s a pipe sticking out of the ground that I suppose you could get water from judging by the rust ring on the rocks below it. Every time I’ve noticed one of these there have been people walking their dogs around it on the grass.

blackandwtf: via. Aw, kinda sweet.

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 18:34:36 -0400

blackandwtf:

via.

Aw, kinda sweet.

It’s gotta mean something bad when your fortune is...

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:46:36 -0400

It’s gotta mean something bad when your fortune is misspelled, righ t?

michauxfochaux: Really happy to share with you a preview of...

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:53:40 -0400

michauxfochaux:

Really happy to share with you a preview of five minutes of footage from the Thailand documentary I’m working on.

Hope you enjoy.

This made me cry. I can’t wait to see the whole thing!!!!

Would you look at this woman!? She’s breathtaking &...

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:44:57 -0400

Would you look at this woman!? She’s breathtaking & adorable. I love her.

No Cash = No Strippers

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:49:29 -0400

I had an interesting conversation with a local party store owner about how debit/credit cards make life as a store owner easier than cash transactions. I pointed out that as handy as they are, our society still NEEDS cash money as an option. When he challenged me as to why that may be the case, I pointed out that we can’t do away with cash until strippers find a way to install credit card swipey things between their buttcheeks.

Judging by the way he contorted his face at that comment I would say that he was probably not amused, and requested that I stop reminding him where all of those small bills come from before they end up in his hands. “I already deal with a lot of bums all day long,” he said.

Fulfilling my need to always get the last word in, I replied, “Oh, right - the bums will need to install credit card swipers, too!”

4 kittens in Michigan need a good home. Email me if you want...

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:48:00 -0400

4 kittens in Michigan need a good home. Email me if you want them.

They’re very young, maybe 5 weeks. Their eyes just opened not long ago. They’re feral, but sooooooo sweet and cuddly. Two are black and white like this one in my lap (the yellow on its forehead is stained that way from eating head-first, it’s not an actual cat color), I think the black & white ones are both females but it’s too soon to tell for sure. There’s also a brownish one with white paws, a white belly & white around its eyes. I think it’s a female, also. The fourth one is all shades of gray except for white outlines around its eyes. Rob thinks the gray one is a boy. They will probably all have long fur judging by their fuzziness. They eat like champs.

4 tiny babies nom nommin’ on me!

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:29:38 -0400

4 tiny babies nom nommin’ on me!

Hahahahahahahahaha

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:27:41 -0400

Hahahahahahahahaha

THAT kind of week

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:43:43 -0400

Car dealership never called me back to schedule the one repair I agreed to last week. I have to go in tomorrow and demand my $120 deposit for the part back & find somewhere else to have my car fixed.
The broken car situation, paired with the SNOW EVERYWHERE IN OCTOBER situation & being sick for the last week has caused me to cancel my mini vacation to Minneapolis next week.
Electric toothbrush stopped working for some reason. Charging light still comes on, but no buzzy sounds come out.
Broken 2 year old hair straightener miraculously started working after I already purchased a new one.
Two words: Jury duty. Date still unclear. Practicing my lunatic tirade to hopefully have myself dismissed.
My brand new phone decided recently that I’m not allowed any phone calls over 3-5 minutes. At that point the person on the other end loses the ability to hear me. It took me 35 minutes to book a doctor’s appointment Tuesday because I had to do it in 2 minute increments.
I ordered some super engineered Italian Ferarri bra from Victoria’s Secret and it’s the 2nd most uncomfortable one I’ve ever tried on in my life, so that’s going back. Turns out that it was too much technology or something. I hate returning things to them because they charge like $7 for shipping in each direction. That’s right, $14 shipping on a $24 bra that I only wore for 10 minutes.
Rob discovered that someone “dug around” in his truck while it was parked in our driveway. Now I’m worried about weirdos being that close to my house and I nearly had a heart attack the other day when a squirrel decided to play on the window ledge while I was upstairs putting clothes on. Would it be weird to tape little death threats all over the porch/yard/garage/cars?

this year's summer went straight to winter, wtf?

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:10:14 -0400

(via mareen)

To add insult to injury, summer only lasted about 25 minutes this year. I’m very angry at the seasons. I demand a recount.